REDEFINING FAIRNESS
March 26th, 2006
Darren Pries-Klassen
Text:
Luke 15:11- 32: The Story of the Lost Son and his Brother
(The Message: the New Testament in Contemporary English by Eugene Peterson)
Then Jesus said, “There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, ‘Father, I want right now what’s coming to me.’
“So the father divided the property between them. It wasn’t long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any.
“That brought him to his senses. He said, ‘All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I’m going back to my father. I’ll say to him`, “Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned against you; I don’t deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.”‘ He got right up and went home to his father.
“When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again.’
“But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick, bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain?fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here ? given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time.
“All this time the older son was out in the field. When the day’s work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, ‘Your brother came home. Your father ordered a feast ? because he has him home safe and sound.”
“The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, ‘Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on parties shows up and you go all out with a feast!’
“His father said, “Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours ? but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he’s alive! He was lost, and he’s found!'”
Message
This popular parable is a great story. The parable of the lost or prodigal son is the third in the trilogy of Luke 15. The lost sheep and the lost coin are the first two. In the parable of the prodigal son we have all the components of a great human drama; a loving parent, a model older brother, a spoiled younger brother, money, independence, older brother becomes jealous and angry, etc. etc. Only thing missing is a love triangle and we would have a recipe for a Hollywood movie. And yet, even though it has movie script appeal, the characters are not really that far fetched. These are not desperate housewife characters. These people are quite normal. So normal in fact, that we can see things in them we can see in ourselves. Let’s take a closer look at the three main characters.
Father
We know Dad was rich. He had servants, property, holdings, and livestock; all the things that made a person wealthy in that time. You might say he was generous for having giving his son his inheritance at a young age. Or, you might say he was a fool for doing so. There is no account of him arguing with his youngest son or asking the boy to wait until he is older before receiving his inheritance. No, “I told you so” when the younger son comes home either after squandering his money. The father runs out to meet the young son upon his return and showers him with the best of everything: a ring, a robe, and a fattened calf. The party is complete with dining and dancing and crowds of people. I am not sure about you but I don not think I would greet my self?centered and foolish child with the same enthusiasm as this father. He is a little more patient and a little less questioning than we might be. We can still relate to the father in that he loves his child.
If we have children we know what it feels like to love them. We know how it breaks our heart to see them hurting. It is hard to watch our kids make bad choices. There is something instinctive about parents trying to protect their kids from the difficulties of life. We want to make good choices; the right choice, but we can’t make them do it. And, we can’t always be there to keep them from being hurt. And even if we could be there to keep them from being hurt, we need to step out of the way and let them learn on their own. Sometimes all we can do is be there and try our best to show our kids we love them.
Youngest Son
The prodigal one. He comes across a little cocky, arrogant. He is demanding, lacking in common sense. It is very easy to dislike this kid. I picture him as the
kind of kid who always thought everyone else had a bigger piece of cake than he did. He is the kind of kid who would never see their own faults, only the faults of others.
We hate to admit it, but we can identify with the younger son as well. It is quite possible that at some point we have felt, or will feel, that no one really understands us, that we are unique or alone, that our parents are old fashioned, that they are wrong, or that our generation will be better than our parent’s generation. When my wife Moni and I were youth pastors we had a poster in our office that said, “kids sharpen their teeth on the bones of their parents”. (Peter Ustinov) In life, children need to test the waters. Young people travel down the road to independence by trying to differentiate themselves from the generation that preceded them, namely Mom & Dad.
But you do not have to be a teenager, or a spoiled brat, to identify with the youngest son. From time to time our lives become overwhelming. The pressure of work or family or schedules or money or health or anything else can feel like a weight around our neck. We want to cut ourselves loose and get away to a good book, or a weekend without the kids, or to the cottage. Some place where we do not have responsibilities and commitments, and just enjoy the freedom. We can see much of ourselves in the prodigal son.
Oldest Son
And then finally there is the older son. Too often the part of this story that deals with the older brother’s feelings has been left out and preachers have only focused on the younger son or the compassionate and forgiving father. This story has often been the flagship of salvation theology ? the sinner who was lost in the iniquities of the world and finally, through a mountain top experience of shame, redemption and grace, came to his senses and found salvation with his “heavenly” father. But the parable does not stop there. This parable is about much more than sin and salvation.
The oldest son was obedient, hard working, trust worthy, competent. He was the one with his nose to the grind stone, working to get ahead, working to climb the ladder, working to get recognition in the family business, and especially from his father. No record of early demands for his inheritance. He never complained. Not until he came home and witnessed the party for his kid brother. Then he was quick to voice his frustration. Then he is quick to scream, “unfair”! Why a party for him ? what has he done to deserve it? Why not throw a party for me, Dad? This isn’t fair!
We know what it feels like to receive no recognition for our efforts. We might work hard to keep our home clean and the family fed only to have them walk through the house with muddy shoes and complain about the meals. Maybe we put in extra time at work, going above and beyond the call of duty only to watch someone else get the promotion we really wanted. We volunteer our time, serve at church, do things for friends or our spouse, and it is quite possible that our efforts go unnoticed. Not that we should only do things for the sake of recognition, but sometimes recognition would really feel nice. We have our own set of standards and expectations about appropriate behaviour. We have all developed a concept of what is right and wrong, what is fair and not fair. This comes from a variety of places; our family, our experiences, cultural disposition, and our personalities. And because of this, it is sometimes very difficult to watch others make choices or do things that violate our own standards and expectations; our beliefs about fair and unfair. It is even more difficult when those bad choices appear to be rewarded. It is not hard to understand the older brother’s anger.
Our society is very attuned to the concept of fairness. We find evidence of this everywhere. The courts look for precedence when determining the appropriate punishment for a crime as an attempt to be fair and just. Unions and Management often enter heated debates because they can not reach an agreement that both sides feel is fair. And if you are a parent you know how it feels to be accused of not being fair. We can reflect on our own experiences and remember when we felt we were not treated fairly. We know how the older brother felt.
The oldest son never seemed to be concerned about his half of the inheritance. What he was concerned with was fairness. Coming home from work to that celebration for his brother drove him crazy with anger and jealousy. He couldn’t get his head around the idea that someone could be honoured in that way without having done anything to deserve it. If anyone deserved a celebration it was him for having worked hard all the time. What the oldest son had to learn was that his father did not host celebrations because someone earned it, but because someone needed it.
Look at what the Father said to him. “You are with me all the time, and what I have is yours”. In other words, this is not something you earn; it is something you receive. Do you honestly think that all this time, you were worse off than your brother was? While he was away, making a fool of himself and being lonely you were here with me. All your needs were looked after. Quit trying to please me or earn things from me. All I want is for you to enjoy this and receive it freely because I am giving it to you freely. I am a generous Father. I know what you need and I am giving it to you. So relax, enjoy it and above all, be thankful.
* * * * * * * *
Fairness is not about everyone receiving the same thing. Fairness isn’t about equality either. Fairness is about getting what you need. If you have two or more kids, take one of them shopping, and you will probably be introduced to idea of ‘fair and unfair’. It does not matter that the child who stayed home has a closet full of shoes that fit and the other has outgrown all their shoes. What you are likely to hear is, “not fair, how come he gets to go shopping and I don’t”.
Now, if this was something that only children and teenagers did, we grown?ups would be off the hook. But it isn’t. Adults are susceptible to crying foul or “unfair” just like kids are. It may not be about shoes or shopping but there are a host of other things that happen in life where some get the long end of the stick and others get the short end of the stick and it isn’t always fair.
• Two people ? each one buys a house ? one watches their equity increase due to a hot real estate market and the other watches the value of their home decrease due to changes in city zoning and the discovery of contaminated soil nearby for which no one seems to be responsible. Is that fair?
• You purchase the same type of car as your friend because it meets your needs and has proven to be a reliable vehicle for many years for your friend. However, your car never seems to work right and spends a great deal of time in the shop costing you a great deal of money in repair bills. Is that fair?
• Woe to us here in Ontario whose economy seems to be a little sluggish, especially if you compare it to our fellow country men and women in Alberta, who, for no other reason than dumb luck, happen to have a red hot economy due mainly to a some large pockets of fossil fuels in the ground. And just to rub salt in the wound they pay no provincial sales tax and each Albertan received $400 from King Ralph just because they live there. Is that fair?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to pick on Alberta or Ralph Klein and I am certainly not suggesting that when there is injustice or equality we should stand idle and say nothing. But sometimes, for whatever reason or a variety of reasons, things don’t work out that well and that is just life. It isn’t always economic of financial either.
• Two people both experiment with drugs for a brief period in their life. Eventually both come to their senses and clean up lives but not before one of the contracts Hepatitis C and the HIV virus while the other contracts nothing. Is that fair?
• A smoker enjoys good health while a fitness nut gets lung cancer. Is that fair?
The challenge of the story of the prodigal son is for us to rethink our notion of fairness. Fairness is not always equality or receiving the same. Rather it is getting what we need. And getting what we need is not always getting what we want.
The youngest son was welcomed with open arms and given a large party. Maybe his father felt he needed it. You have been through a great deal and have finally learned your lesson. You need grace and acceptance, so lets celebrate. The oldest son needed a change of attitude more than a celebration. While the youngest was making a fool of himself you have been here with enough to eat and enjoying everything I could give you. Besides, no one said you couldn’t attend the party.
It is not a surprising to us that the Father in the story is representative of God. What may be surprising is the way in which God deals with the two sons. God isn’t concerned about keeping things equal and fair. God is concerned about giving both boys what they need, when they need it. Even though the youngest son rejects God by going off into the world and living foolishly, even though the oldest son rejects God by failing to see all the good things in his life, God is still there, waiting to be a part of their lives.
In the same way that the Father loved both of his sons and wanted to give them all that he could give, God loves us and wants us to experience joy and fulfillment in our own lives. The generosity of God is not found in receiving an easy life, nor is it found in getting what we want. Rather, God’s generosity can be found in how we choose to look at things.
Life may or may not be kind to us. No one really knows what the future holds. And in addition to uncertainties of life, our choices may carry with them either good or bad consequences. But regardless of what happens, God promises to walk with us, and desires to walk with us, on the journey of life. So generous is God that God is always willing to meet us, wherever we may be and with whatever perspective we may have at any time on our journey. Are we ready then, to let God walk the journey of life with us? Are we ready to recognize the many generous things God has already done for us and given to us? Because for you and me it really is often just a matter of how we look at things and how we define fairness.